Can A 1 Month Old Baby Sleep Through The Night And the Seasons, They Go ‘Round and ‘Round

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And the Seasons, They Go ‘Round and ‘Round

…Painted ponies go up and down… Oh Joni, how right you are. I’m listening right now to my daughter, E, turning her phone on, then off, then on, then off. She falls asleep. Yeah. That’s right. She no longer needs or wants her mother to cuddle her to sleep. She’s an independent woman, you don’t know! At the mature age of almost ten months, she cut the *um cord. again.

Recently and certainly in the months to come, I must grasp this truth. My baby is growing up and one day it won’t be my baby anymore. She’s already so big! She has changed so much! This is just the beginning of my blossoming child and I already feel the feeling that I can’t go back, I can only look back to where we came from…

And we have already come so far. Once it was a girl who spent hours a day snuggled so close to me, she and I watched bad soap operas on TV. Now we don’t cuddle during the day, she’s too busy exploring the world! When I try to pick her up, hold her (just a little) and keep her close – my attempt to hold back a little piece of baby E – she struggles under my grasp, anxious to get out – free and on its own.

The CD that plays during her nightly routine hasn’t changed since she was born. As he plays now, I listen to his familiar sound and lament the days when she was there, happily nestled against me, needing to be breastfed or bottle-fed to settle her into a good sleep. As the same music plays, I’m amazed at how much everything else has changed. She rushes now to finish her bottle; she nudges him aside when she’s finished and sits up as if to say, ‘ok mum, put me to bed already now.’ And my heart breaks just a little.

Soon I will go back to work and someone else will raise my child during the week. My little girl and I have been almost inseparable since she was born. We have our own rhythm. I hate the idea of ​​someone stepping in and disturbing him. I won’t be the only one she turns to for comfort or direction. Sigh… and soon there will be even more directors to help shape and guide my little E.

Right now, though, she’s still mine. I try to hold on to the baby bits she’s holding on to. The times when she is tired and forgets her determined independence and leans on her mom for a brief moment. When she cries and looks for me, she needs me to pick her up and hold her. I try to take a break from life in these times because I know that sooner than I realize she will be off dreaming her own big dreams. And I’ll have to step back and watch her leave my arms for good.

While I realize she’s growing and know there’s a fine line between holding on and letting go, at least I can hold on to this: as long as I live, my baby she will be.*

*Robert Munsch I love you forever.

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