Can You Let A 1 Month Old Cry It Out Should I or Shouldn’t I Join a Support Group?

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Should I or Shouldn’t I Join a Support Group?

Donna stood outside in the parking lot in the dark, trying to get herself into the building. Once you’re in the door, the next step would be to go up the stairs to the meeting room. The thought of it made his palms sweat and his heart pound. So what? She would have to go into the room to find a room full of strangers who were probably grieving just like her. “What did I get myself into?” he asked. “Should I talk? What will people think of me? What if I cry?”

Her fears began to overcome her reasons for joining the grief group. This raised his anxiety level even more. He tried to visualize someone else considering the same decision and wondered, “Is it possible that someone else might get out of their car and walk into the room eager for the same experience? Why am I afraid?”

The truth is that in the twenty plus years that we have been promoting training/support groups, participants have expressed these feelings both ways. The thought of joining a support group is scary for some people. Let me suggest that sharing the experience with someone else experiencing the loss of a loved one is far greater than the burden of thinking I should be able to cope alone.

Here are some basic things to consider when considering joining a group. Knowing what to expect may be the comfort you need to join.

1. Grief groups aren’t just for crying women. In our earlier culture, women were portrayed as the family weepers and mourners, while men were meant to be static and hold the family together. Today’s groups are a mix of men and women, young and old, all kinds of relationships and death situations ranging from sudden to anticipated and traumatic. Grief knows no bounds.

2. The dynamics of bereavement groups can vary. We are all individuals with unique expectations. Like most encounters in life, something has to “click” for you to feel comfortable with someone you meet and share personal information with. How many times have you changed doctors, teachers at school, neighbors or friendships just because they didn’t click? Try your group, and if it doesn’t work, find another option.

3. Not all grief groups are the same. Be aware of what kind of group you join. Some are educational, some faith-based, some divisive groups. There are also drop-in groups to join when you feel like it. Or there are open groups that usually meet about once a month and the participants change often. Closed groups usually run for a certain number of weeks and participants participate in consecutive weeks.

4. Grief groups are not formal therapy or professional counseling. They are a group of individuals facing a similar experience. It’s a place to find comfort when another person’s experience feels similar to yours. The groups are a place to share and support, but not to get professional advice on the specifics of the loss or other problems caused by the loss.

5. You may not be “ready” to attend a grief support group. If your grief is too early, the thought of sharing your feelings can be overwhelming. You may also be looking for immediate confirmation that grief will get better, and the truth is that it takes time. There are no quick fixes. You know yourself best. Some people are ready in weeks, others may take months or years before they are ready to accept the loss and move on.

6. Grief groups aren’t just places where you can express your grief, insecurities, fears and thoughts. It’s a place where you can learn to replace those insecurities with action plans that will help you get through your toughest moments.

7. Grief groups allow you to express your regrets and acknowledge outbursts of anger and guilt. After all, these are real. You protest how the loss has changed your life. These often hidden feelings of grief can be revealed and neutralized with positive grief work.

8. Grief groups don’t take away all your pain or grief. They are meant to get you through the hard days and give you coping skills to manage the loss until you learn to live with it. You can live with it when you understand it; and it doesn’t consume every waking moment.

9. Grief groups are a place for stories and memories. After all, positive memories last long after the pain of grief. They are keepsakes that honor the lives of our loved ones. While some memories may fade, others still bring you peace and joy!

10. Grief groups can help you find choices that can enrich your life in the future. Healing grief sometimes involves difficult choices, foresight and perseverance. No one can “grieve” for you or determine your future path. Changing values ​​and priorities will challenge you. A grief group can help you identify your options.

11. Grief groups avoid judgment. As the cliché goes, “You can’t understand someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.” Grief groups offer a safe place and avoid comparison. No one can conclude that his loss is more significant than another’s.

12. Bereavement groups help you understand that family and social relationships are often misunderstood after a death. You may even find fights within the family and your support system may seem to be crumbling. Understand the combination of factors that may be a trigger. While the group can’t solve your problems, it can help you gain a new perspective on how to build peace.

13. Grief groups respect the role of all religions and spirituality in grief. Some groups build their support around a Bible verse, teachings, and comfort. Others acknowledge that sometimes grief challenges faith for a time. Groups can offer practical everyday ways to heal wounded faith. Any group should welcome participants to share their beliefs as part of their healing process.

14. Grief groups offer hope. Grief groups help rebuild self-esteem, create resilience and create stability. After a significant loss, you are forever changed. Finding a new normal and a “new you” reveals so many opportunities for future growth and empathy.

15. Ultimately, grief groups serve a purpose other than acknowledging that loss hurts. It is a place to recognize that you are not alone. It is a place to release your pain and let others absorb your pain with theirs. It is a place to heal.

Don’t miss this opportunity on your grieving journey. We make many choices in life and when a loss has made our daily existence difficult, we allow others to understand you, cherish you and offer you their friendship. Grief groups don’t have to be scary. They can be

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