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Is Your Child a Sex Offender’s Target?-Learn Their Ruse
Sex offenders come from all walks of life, ages and socioeconomic status. They can be male or female, rich or poor, employed or unemployed, religious, atheist or agnostic, doctors, lawyers, judges, police officers, educated or uneducated and of any race.
o In more than 85 percent of child sexual abuse crimes, the survivor knows the perpetrator – a parent, grandparent, uncle, aunt, cousin, sibling, friend, caretaker, coach, teacher, neighbor or parent of a playmate/friend.
o Aliens can be “good guys” or “bad guys”. (including women) People you or your child know can be ‘good guys’ or ‘bad guys’. (including women).
o We do children a great disservice when we teach about stranger danger and leave it at that. According to government statistics, less than 1% of all sexually abused children are abused by a stranger.
o 67 percent of adults convicted of serious sexual crimes in 1995 had no previous criminal record.
Many pedophiles look for single mothers or parents who are not involved with their children to victimize them. Example: Sports Illustrated article, September 3, 1999, issue “Who’s Coaching Your Kids?” about coaches who sexually abuse boys on the team they coach. Thursday, October 21, 1999 Dateline rebroadcast a segment on child sexual abuse of coaches. Friday, November 5, 1999 20/20 aired a small-town sexual abuse case in which a boy scout leader sexually abused several boys for over a year. One coach in these cases said he was looking for single-parent families or families where the parents were often absent from practices or games. “These kids are hungry for attention, and I give them the attention they crave. I’d take them out for ice cream after a game or shopping. It’s amazing how parents rarely question my motives. If they doubt it, I have a tailored explanation that never assuages their doubts .”
Other examples: A school teacher who often stays after school to help a child with learning difficulties; a parent taking time off work to accompany students on field trips; a grandparent who hands out gifts when they take a child on a fun outing, a neighbor who seems genuinely interested in your child.
I’m not saying that anyone who exposes themselves to children is a sex offender. However, fraudulently, those guilty show correct, moral and exemplary behavior in order to develop credibility and gain evidence of their love for children; these actions thus prevent any suspicion of wrongdoing.
Montel Williams, on his show on November 11, 1999, exclaimed in exasperation, “Why can’t we do something about it?” when he revealed the details of a pregnant 10-year-old girl who had been raped multiple times by the 18-year-old son of her mother’s live-in boyfriend. While this story may seem unusual and/or fodder for a dramatic Montel Williams performance, it’s unfortunately all too common.
Most sex offenders “groom” their victims for months or even years before sexually abusing them. After gaining trust in the parents, the offender offers the child a babysitter or a fun activity. During this time, she continues to care for the child. The author is aware that the child must be supervised to the extent that he can sexually abuse the child without fear of disclosure to another adult. This manipulation can be obtained in many ways: favors, threats, guilt, etc.
A mother revealed that her husband played tickle with their three-year-old son. The rules of the game were such that it was fun – the boy was told to tickle his father’s nipples while sitting sprawled on top of his father’s naked body from the waist up. The purpose of this game was to “Make Dad laugh.” Dad could, of course, refrain from laughing until he experienced the sexual arousal he desired. When the mother objected to this game, the father scolded her for the jealous time with their son.
Another mother was horrified when her three-year-old daughter asked her to play a game of “pee-pee”. He asked his daughter to explain this game. Her daughter was lying on her back on the floor with her feet resting and said, “Touch my ‘pee-pee’ mommy, that’s what daddy does.”
Why the sex offender plot works more often than not…
Sex offenders rely on society’s misconceptions about their well-honed plots.
As a society, we strongly condemn sex offenders who harm strangers’ children, but when someone we know is suspected or accused, many people take sides and often refuse to believe that a “pillar of the community” could commit this type of crime. A true seductress-type pedophile is very good at what he does. He puts himself in a position in his family or community where he has easy access to children. He often works hard (sometimes for years) to gain the trust of family members or the community. If a child accuses this person, it is often too emotionally difficult for a family that loves and trusts this family member, or trusted and allowed the accused into their home, to believe that he could do such an act against a child. Michael Jackson is a prime example of society’s refusal to acknowledge their errors in judgment. Cheating is too big, and many families not only deny it, but blame and vilify the child who makes the claim. This is what the criminal relies on. Families deceived by cunning predators could not have imagined the degree of possible deception and the extent to which the predator would have to exploit the child.
Reasonable doubt is the answer. See my article, Protect Your Child from Sex Offenders – Exercise Appropriate Suspicion
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