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Independent Children and How to Deal With Them
When the child is 2 years old, he starts trying to become independent, and then the parents also start challenging the child’s independence until his formative years and teenage years. Parents should make this a period of beneficial growth for the child by responding skillfully to your child’s apparent stubbornness, disobedience, and annoying behavior.
Don’t try to beat your child; instead, you should consider its disobedience a healthy sign that the child is looking for other ways to act on their own. As a child grows and develops, from about 2 years of age and at various intermittent times, he tries to individuate, throwing his will and “power” on people who try to present – “I’m the boss”.
When you try to beat a child, he will either fight or run away. In other words, the child can accept and let you be the boss, or fight back with a vengeance, trying to prove that he is the boss. If you take this as a parent’s positive attitude in the growth process and let the child feel that he is the boss of the situation, you will build a relationship that will empower both you and the child.
You should primarily avoid fighting for power, and don’t engage in fighting. When you ask the child to go to bed, the child may say no. The first symptom of the argument has emerged. If you try to argue that it should sleep, the situation becomes bad, instead if you come up with a dialogue where you say that you carry him, maybe upside down and tickle him all the way to the bed, the child will immediately accept. that and that’s the end of the fight.
Once you’ve avoided a fight, you should give choices instead of an order. Even an 18-month-old child may refuse to change their diaper, and when you instead ask them if they can go into another room to change a diaper, they may give in – in other words, give the child a choice. will behave. When the choice you give does not give the child freedom, it would still not accept it and therefore allow the choices to be open, and not as an alternative to punishment.
Don’t assume that one will lose and the other will win in these power struggles. Instead, create a situation where both of you feel like you’re winning, and both of you are satisfied with getting what you want. This requires finding a middle ground. You should not only help the children by responding positively to the child’s wishes, but also make sure that the child does not get rid of the feeling that he has caused you to lose. No parent would want “no” from their children. But it would be better to treat a child’s “no” as a difference of opinion rather than disrespecting your child.
When a child feels that he has no power, he tries to take revenge. When a child is 2 years old, revenge is like taking back spilled food, but when the child grows into a teenager, revenge can be using drugs or getting pregnant. Your child’s future can be safer if you allow your child to defend himself in an appropriate way.
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