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Watering the Plant of Intimate Relationships

Today I want to talk about the relationship. It’s something we all want more of, and something many of us lack in today’s culture. We miss the real connection with our friends, family members and even those closest to us: our partners.

Our society doesn’t set us up to make relationship a priority. Sure, there are phones, text messages, and social media, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the heart-to-heart connection that can only come when the phones are put down and we can slow down enough to really take in each other.

If you have children, it’s even more challenging to connect. But what happens if we don’t make the relationship a priority?

Our relationships are like plants that need proper care to grow and will die without attention.

I’ve been struggling with the relationship lately. My husband and I are the parents of a wonderful (and rambunctious) two-year-old boy. I have a coaching business and also teach at a university. My husband has his own demanding job. Sometimes it can feel like we’re just being raised in a group and passing like ships in the night.

We’ve realized that we need to make more time to slow down and connect—even if that means not getting the blog post done or the house not being cleaned. It’s important to let go of perfection and take the time to water the relationship.

Refreshing your relationship doesn’t have to look like going to a fancy dinner and a Broadway show (although it can). It could also be taking ten minutes at the end of a busy day to sit down next to each other, check in and have a few minutes of heart to heart connection. It could also be about taking tens of seconds to hug and kiss your partner goodbye instead of running out the door yelling, “I love you, goodbye!”

If we give space to the relationship with our partners, everything becomes easier. Connection lightens our load and helps us remember that we are not doing this alone. It helps us reconnect with what made us fall in love with this person in the first place. And it lends even more lightness to everyday life. It helps us connect with gratitude, and when we are grateful for what we have, we see the world in a completely different way.

What can you do this week to slow down and connect with a partner or friend? Notice how it changes your perceptions and makes you feel more complete.

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