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Does Frugal Living Deprive Kids?

I often hear ladies complain that they want to stay at home with their kids, but “have to work because it’s so expensive to raise kids these days.” One of the main questions people ask about frugal living is “am I not depriving my children if I live frugally?” Perhaps I can answer this question with a few questions.

How do I deprive my kids of drinking water with every meal instead of juice and soda? Isn’t one thing doctors always complain about, that we don’t drink enough water? A family of four would save $547.50 a year and be healthier if they didn’t consume one glass of soda per person per day.

How do I deprive my kids of eating an apple or homemade granola bar for a snack instead of a bag of chips? Obesity is a serious problem among children in the United States. If you cut out just one bag of chips a week, you’d save $104.00 a year and make them healthier.

How can I deprive my kids by walking them to school or to friends’ houses instead of me always driving them there? Lack of exercise is a big problem. Walking would save time and wear and tear on your car and make them healthier at the same time.

How am I depriving my kids if I don’t buy them every toy they see and want? We would never dream of adding as much chocolate as he wants to his baby food because we know it will make him sick. Your body can’t handle that much chocolate even if you crave it.

In the same way, an older child cannot cope emotionally with the overload of toys. As an adult, trying to buy a bottle of shampoo will stress me out. Have you ever noticed how many options you have? Making the decision can be overwhelming. Can I get thin, fine, dry and damaged or dyed and permed hair? The list goes on and on.

Likewise, when a young child is looking at piles of toys, they can become very stressed out about choosing which ones to play with. If you watch, you will notice that they tend to play the same game over and over again. If you didn’t give them all the toys they asked for and buy one less brand new toy for $10 a week, you’d save $520.00 over the course of a year and help relieve their stress.

No wonder our children remain confused. We insist that they eat healthy, yet we take them to McDonald’s 3-5 times a week to eat. We give them a bag of carrot sticks in their lunch because it’s healthy and then we give them a bag of chips when they get home from school to get them off our backs.

We want them to have strong character, but the moment they whine or cry for another toy or candy at the store, we give up out of guilt. We’re afraid that if we don’t give them what they want, they won’t love us, so to get rid of the discomfort, we say yes. How can we teach them to be strong in character when we are so weak?

How has our society and mindset become so messed up that we think a child is being deprived if a mother chooses to stay at home and not go to work? We believe that moms should work outside the home so that their children can get the most expensive clothes, education, or finances. (Note that I didn’t say the best, but the most expensive, because the most expensive does not mean the best.) If a mother goes to work so that the child has everything to do, it does not matter to anyone but the mother. Which do you think hurts the child more – being deprived of expensive things or the mother?

For stay-at-home moms: Before you get too puffed up with pride, be aware that too many social, church, and school activities can rob your kids of you just as much as work. Do everything in moderation.

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