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Crowning Him King for a Day

We seem to treat fathers—ourselves and the fathers of our children—differently on their special day than we treat mothers on Mother’s Day. Maybe because our wiring is different. (Seriously, when was the last time the man in your life asked for flowers, chocolate and dinner? And do men even eat chocolate?!?) But breakfast in bed should just be hot coffee. The New York Times is the pastry-and-whipped strawberries we asked moms to put on their trays. I have found that men deeply appreciate any simple, loving gesture that is made for them. The little morning fun my kids had with their dad today—with coffee, handmade cards, poems, and wrapped presents—raised him more than anything else we could have done. It read, “We didn’t forget about you this year, Dad.” (Honestly, we forgot about it a few years ago…)

Father’s Day originates from Mother’s Day. When a thoughtful Sonora Louise Smart Dodd heard a sermon on Mother’s Day, she felt that fathers deserved as much recognition and attention—if only for one day—as mothers. In 1909, he approached his minister in Spokane, Washington, with the idea of ​​giving a special Father’s Day sermon in memory of his own father, William Smart. William, who was widowed during the birth of their sixth child, was a single parent to the newborn as well as the couple’s five older children. Dodd, now an adult himself, was all too appreciative of his father’s personal sacrifices over the many years of raising children, and wanted to honor him in June, the month of his birth. Since his minister could not react quickly enough to honor his birthday exactly (June 5), his father scheduled his acceptance speech for June 19, the third Sunday in June.

Thus, the first Father’s Day sermon was delivered on June 19. Other historians claim that Dr. Robert Webb celebrated the first Father’s Day in 1908 at Central Church in Fairmont, West Virginia; still others claim that Harry Meek’s gold watch labeled “Father’s Day Presenter” qualifies for the holiday. Nevertheless, by 1916 President Woodrow Wilson had officially endorsed the idea, by 1924 President Calvin Coolidge had officially endorsed it, and by 1966 President Lyndon Johnson had officially issued a presidential proclamation designating the third Sunday in June as Father’s Day. But it was only declared a national holiday in 1972. And interestingly, it’s a uniquely American holiday; other countries celebrate it, but only in America is it on our national calendar.

How we celebrate this day is as unique to each family as fathers are to their own children. While Mother’s Day has its expectations: flowers, chocolates and gifts, Father’s Day offers more spontaneity. Just like you father. Sure, there’s the proverbial tie. Or socks. But since fathers’ hobbies and sporting interests run from one end of the spectrum to the other, the day is celebrated with a myriad of activities. Golf? Fishing? Relax with a coffee and a good book?

My husband and I went into town today. The weather was as perfect as ever: blue skies and 78 degrees with no humidity. We attended a service downtown and then had lunch outdoors on a patio on 7th Avenue. A long walk in Central Park wasn’t just refreshing; the perfect sky served as an umbrella for hundreds of New Yorkers tossing Frisbees, playing volleyball, cannulating with honey, and basking in the warmth of the sun on lawn blankets.

Throughout the day, I paid close attention to the unique role my husband plays in our family and in shaping our children’s vision of fatherhood. He is our provider and protector. But he is much more. Co-educator. Not necessarily the first one my kids would run to with skinned knees, but the one they could run to when an emergency hit home. He’s the one who took our three-month-old baby to the hospital for the initial biopsy (without anesthesia) when we learned he needed an emergency colostomy; who answered the phone call when a child (a mile away) ran away from home and was discovered by our local police; who stood by me just this week when I had a brief medical scare. He is our rock.

He bears the financial burdens of our family, which is a direct consequence of our joint decisions nearly twenty years ago. And when the going gets rough, he takes off. Before daylight, commuting through suburban New York traffic, he fights for bottom lines, quotas and margins every day. He rarely complains or is disappointed.

Most fathers have learned to deal with the harsh realities of everyday life. I had to. My own seventeen-year-old son came downstairs a few weeks ago, wandered into the kitchen, and said, “I get it. You’re going to get through school, get good grades, get into a good college, and get a job. Drive yourself crazy and you’ll die.” I hardly wanted a happy outlook on life, but an appreciation of a part of being a man.

On Father’s Day—and every day—we should pay more attention to the generous efforts that the fathers in our lives make for us. We need to keep in mind the sacrifices they make of their personal time every day. That they rarely have time for lunch with the guys, for a morning tennis match and sauna, or afternoon bridge. That they have accountability issues that we will never fully appreciate. To have superiors to respect, subordinates to lead, and colleagues to inspire. That they have baselines, quarterly quotas, profitability measures and shareholder responsibilities. That they fight the traffic on an empty stomach. And very little sleep on early morning planes.

The fathers in our lives would undoubtedly travel to the ends of the earth for you and their children…if they knew that there would be several pairs of open arms on the other side of the front door.

We hope that fathers everywhere understand the unique role they play in our lives, their children’s lives, and in today’s culture in general. We hope dads everywhere felt special this Father’s Day. They know deep down that their efforts on our behalf are fully recognized, truly appreciated and deeply cherished.

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