How Often Should You Change A 1 Year Old Diaper Singleness – 10 Tips to Living a Great Life As a Single Woman

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Singleness – 10 Tips to Living a Great Life As a Single Woman

On any given day, the divorce rate in the United States averages 50-60 percent. When you add to that the number of women who remain in spiritually dead relationships and relationships that are physically or emotionally abusive, it is clear that only a small percentage of women are happy with their spouses. I’ve had significant relationships, but most of my adult life I’ve been single. I’m not against finding a new man or starting a new relationship in the future, but there are things about being single that I love and wouldn’t want to give up. If you’re struggling with singleness, the following tips can change your life by building self-esteem and increasing your financial and emotional security.

1. Organize your work life. This doesn’t mean you have to take a job you hate because of the big fat. instead, it means the opposite. Find something you love and do it to the best of your ability. Find ways to maximize your income doing what you love. Find people to love and support on their journey, and people to love and support you on yours. (Consider joining a support group if you don’t have friends or family who believe and empower you).

2. Take care of your health. Women are bombarded with false images and statistics about health. Grocery stores, billboards, and televisions show scantily clad anorexic women selling everything from coffee to diapers. 16-year-old models are used to sell anti-wrinkle creams. It’s absolutely ridiculous. I have always been a large, athletic and active woman. A few years ago I was deeply concerned about my weight. According to the medical charts I was 40-50 LB overweight. I brought this up to my doctor at my annual physical. His answer shocked me. He said, “You have athlete’s blood pressure, don’t worry about it”. So my advice: find a sport you like and do it 3-5 times a week. It can be water aerobics, dance, karate or vigorous walking. Find a diet that works well for your body. I eat mostly unprocessed, organic foods, including lots of fresh vegetables, fruits, dairy, and protein. I still like sweets, so I allow them, but only in small amounts. By maintaining optimal health, you will have optimal energy, lower medical bills, and are more likely to have a better outlook on life. I work out almost every day. When I don’t, I’m prone to low-energy and low-grade depression.

3. Take care of your finances. Stay out of debt at all costs. There are so many creative ways to live on very little money as long as you don’t get caught up in commercials or the urge to “keep up with the Joneses.” There are many books that offer excellent information on how to get out of debt and increase wealth. If you can afford to buy an apartment and it makes financial sense, do it. Don’t wait for Mr. Right. Even if or when he comes along, he’ll probably admire your financial savvy. Consider joining a financial investment group or taking a class on the stock market at your local community college. Pay off your debt and start saving.

4. Feed your maternal instincts. If you really want a child and have the money to support yourself and your child and have a large, loving network of family and friends, adopt a child or apply to be a foster parent. If you don’t have money or don’t feel like you can cope as a single parent, look for volunteer opportunities that meet your mothering needs. You can be someone’s emotional mother regardless of your age, income or location. Many children with biological parents need more maternal support from the community.

5. Nurture your need for touch. The desire for sex and/or touch is normal and natural. Some people are fine with casual sex. I am not one of them, but I am nevertheless a physically vigorous woman. The need for touch is vital for survival. It is very helpful to schedule routine massages and create friendships where friendly hugs or kisses are expected and normal. I also love animals and share my home and heart with several pets. There is nothing more comforting than a cat sleeping on my lap while I read a good book.

6. Live in the moment as much as possible. One of the biggest challenges of being a single woman is that we often project into the future. We think, “If I’m single now, I’ll always be single.” This may or may not be true, but either way we are missing out on the gifts that are currently being offered. According to the Buddha’s Second Noble Truth, all suffering is due to our desire and inability to accept our circumstances. When we embrace the present moment, life’s richness and endless possibilities for joy are evident.

7. Learn a quick return to relatives or negative self-talk. If you’re tired of hearing someone say “…poor, so beautiful and still single” or a similar comment, find a truth or joke that you can use as a quick, automatic response. Consider, for example, the benefits of being single. “I love my solitude”, or a friendly joke, “well, you’re already married uncle Clyde”. This will eventually get there and help you maintain a good sense of independence.

8. Find the advantages of being single or the disadvantages of being married. I have a wide circle of friends and I don’t have to look far. Several of my girlfriends married men who developed serious health problems. My friends now use their time and money to take care of their partner. This has crippled their finances and their creativity. On my worst day, I wouldn’t trade places with them. Another dear friend of mine is married to a man who, like myself, is very stubborn and outspoken. They have horrible verbal arguments. Company is no deterrent to this couple, and I’ve heard a lot. These dear friends always get along and seem to have a good marriage, but this is not what I want. As a single woman, I have 100% control over where I go, what I do, who I see, when I get home, how much money I spend, and what I do with my time. I can put on my pajamas at 5pm or stay out all night. I love that.

9. Create and maintain a good circle of friends. Some single women I know form travel groups, investment clubs or are involved in couples. It’s important to give and receive love and maintain friendships, whether you’re in a significant relationship or not. Learning to be a better friend and connecting with the people you care about is an important part of life’s journey.

10. Keep your mind active. Whether you’re in a relationship or not, it’s just as important to exercise your brain as it is your body. Watch science or nature shows, take a course, join a study group or find some way to stay fascinated by life. The world is an amazing place; there is so much to learn, be and do. When you keep your mind active, you experience more joy in being alive. Also, if you keep learning, people will find you interesting, your self-esteem will stay healthy, you will meet new people, maybe you will increase your health or your finances or your circle of friends and support.

As you learn to be happy in your singleness, you may or may not decide to share your life with someone else. If you learn to be financially and emotionally responsible for your own health and well-being, you’re more likely to enjoy life, whether you’re single or not. If you choose a partner, it comes from strength rather than need. When you learn to take loving care of yourself, it becomes easier to avoid a partner who would bring you down or cause you emotional, physical or financial harm. In the long run, it doesn’t matter if you got married, got a lover or live alone. You will live happily.

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