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Sleeping With Strangers! Is it For You?
Statistically, 6.8 million people live alone in the UK. It is not surprising that some people want to go on holidays or take breaks abroad with someone. With a friend is much better than wandering around the Kasbah or exploring the restaurant life alone. It’s also no surprise that many online services have come to the rescue; Their purpose is to find like-minded travelers. Multiply the individual Brits by the corresponding numbers in other countries and the possibilities for a travel party are huge.
The services cater to every taste without being polite. This ensures that the round pins are inserted into the round holes. In other words, if you are in your twenties and prefer the company of other ex-schoolers of the same age group; you set your point of sale and eagerly wait for a response.
Do you want to explore Mediterranean Spain? There is bound to be someone out there with the exact same thought in mind. Cycling through the Alps, backpacking in the Dolomites; share the glory of St. Petersburg or maybe two weeks in the Bahamas? You can put money into it, there is someone out there, maybe a group of like-minded people who want your business.
I thought I’d give it a try: “Semi-retired, physically fit, presentable. I can handle up to three short vacations a year. I prefer the company of women straight / platonic. I’m interested in an intelligent partner; empathy, appearance is important. Quite flexible, personable, sociable; supportive. Share the costs and the rooms maybe (own beds).
“My ideal vacation is a flight to Europe, rent a car, stop wherever looks appealing. Non-smoking, Like just relaxing, people watching, exploring, sightseeing; culture, dining out; moderate drinker; theater, orchestral music. Free spirit, so I hope you are too. Don’t you just love transparency?’
After looking at several Internet services for singles looking for a vacation together, I was spoiled for choice. Friendship Travel Com seemed as good a place to start as any.
CAN I JOIN YOU?
“Getting a flight, getting to a resort, staying in a hotel – and worst of all – eating alone is not fun at all.” This was a presentation I could relate to. I went there, got a t-shirt. Believe me, there’s nothing so lonely as being far from home and wandering alone among tourists: All those hand-in-hand couples; for groups of friends and families. You really look like Billy-no-mates.
What might appeal to some in online solo travel made me wary. While they try to strike the right balance between being structured and independent, seriously single and looking for someone, the edges are a bit blurred.
The announced prices are based on the assumption that there is no shared use. This always increases the hotel’s costs. What you do between yourselves when you arrive at your destination is your business, as long as it doesn’t scare the camels. But if you prefer your own company, “turning the lights off” isn’t a problem.
The company’s range offered as wide a range as you could get: everything from dinner dances to Nile cruises, European leisure breaks, skiing in France, trips to the US; Bahamas; maybe a week or so in Bodrum: holiday romance optional.
THEY ARE NOT CHEAP
A well-known company like you, the company’s policy seems to cover solvents well heeled, so that they do not do cheap. At least you increase the chances of mating or making friends with your own social layers.
A three-night break in Paris will set you back in your own currency, the equivalent of £339. 12 days in Thailand £1,399; seven nights in Grenada Withdraw £1,899 from your bank account. It’s inclusive, but I think for that price I might be entitled to a shared room. £590 for two weeks in Turkey was pretty good value in my opinion, even though it was a special offer; especially if it involves an exotic belly dancer?
THE LAST MANGO IN PARIS
That’s when I remembered: I value my independence and I was looking for a service that didn’t offer any more expectation of dating than a weekly shop. Properly! I traveled to Mango Tree.Com.
Descriptions and reality are like theory and practice; they don’t always match. Photos are important to me. The only negative aspect is the lack of chemistry and empathy, which can only be measured by spending a little time together. But there must remain some mystery in life; otherwise it wouldn’t be half as exciting. Hope springs forever in the human breast.
I remember looking at a woman’s profile on a dating site. On the face of it, he certainly connected all the dots. Beautiful as a picture, I could have easily framed it. His profile listed him as petite, similar interests, age, likes and dislikes, no pets; the kids flew the nest. This woman was going to fit like a glove on a well manicured hand.
CHAINSAW GROUP
Nervously, I picked up the phone and timidly tapped his number, setting the soft tones to just the right tone. Unfortunately, his pitch had more decibels than a chainsaw and my brain was indeed murdered. It was just as well that I didn’t meet him at the Belgrade train station; his cheerful “I’m here!” It can be mistaken for the screeching of locomotive brakes.
After browsing over 1000 profiles, the theory seemed good and the sweetest profiles support it: Jade (23) writes: ”I’ve never traveled before, I created a profile and added a photo, it had been a few days and I hadn’t heard anything, but suddenly I started getting messages from others emails from users with helpful and friendly advice. It was great, the best part was that I have met a great friend who I talk to constantly by email and phone, and we have agreed to go traveling together in November this year!”
“I’ve met several people, adds Emma (28), who are all traveling to Australia at the same time as me. We met in London at the weekend, so I feel even more excited about my trip.” Men are also looking in and sharing similar success stories.
A SPRING OF BLOKES
Members have the option to travel one-2-one or as part of a larger group. As decorum also requires choosing the desired gender. This is where it gets really interesting, so if you’re easily upset, stop reading here.
For those still reading, here’s a wink-wink, nod-nudge piece. Of the 90 female profiles scanned from all age groups, a dozen preferred a female partner. Six specified a male companion and the remaining 72 were not gender specific; either would do.
Finally, there are the more group-oriented or those who simply like safety in numbers. 12 of the women chose to join groups, three of them to women’s parties; the rest of the women were happy with the men.
WOULD YOU SLEEP WITH A MAN?
Personally, I don’t have a problem with it. I got a lot of practice sleeping with a stranger when I was married. I can’t speak for anyone who has read this far, but if I’m comfortable enough to travel during the day with someone, I have no problem sharing a room: Think what savings can be made?
I could say at this point that I made my excuses and left: The reality is that after two weeks with my profile showing, I only have three suitors. Regardless of the outcome, they have read my profile which makes it clear that shared rooms are not a problem.
For those who are promiscuous, I naively believe that mature people can travel in platonic decency. Take your jim-jams with you, turn off the lights or dare to bury your head in your book while your partner gets ready to zzzzzzzzzzzzz. If either one of you is upbeat, I’m sure you’re smart enough to encourage or discourage your mood as you see fit.
Is your vacation waiting for you? A lot depends on your taste, location, travel plans and of course your age group. Not quite as messed up as I’d have you believe, but if you’re under thirty, you’ve won the lottery here.
78 of the 97 women were under 30 years old. Twenty-eight Brits with a raucous crowd of Australians, New Zealanders, Canadians and a few “Hey, do they have McDonald’s here too?” from the good old USA of A.
If you don’t want to travel anonymously or have never taken the risk of a blind date like me, you’ll be happy to know that 78 had posted pictures of themselves so you can at least imagine yourself together that much better.
MATURE GUYS ARE NOT NAMED LIKE THAT
For those who are more gentle and who you might say have reached maturity, can be answered at retiredbackpackers.com. I signed up even though I haven’t retired yet. But in the finest traditions of investigative journalism and without thinking about my own safety, I dug and found.
They also cheated. There are no end of nice people in their books whose sales have fallen well short. Even those who were semi-qualified or retired looked better than the few thirtysomethings I’ve seen. This was right up my street and across the square.
Anne’s profile says that she is a very young 52-year-old (looks 42) with a zest for life. I have let my house take advantage of the “now”. I’m used to traveling and hostels. I’m sure about the map and the schedule, but if we miss the bus, so be it!
He adds, “I am well educated and appreciate the culture of the areas I visit, while realizing that I am only a stranger in their environment. I am a vegetarian, non-smoker, very light traveler and have no problem sharing.” .
TRAIL Marriage
Rob is less age-specific, but is in the 51-60 age range. He says: “I’m a fit, non-smoking guy with a great 2-berth camper van with standard equipment.
I like to use it to travel slowly in Switzerland, Austria, Italy, etc., so I am looking for an enthusiastic woman to travel with, sharing the expenses. I have no romantic expectations, I just prefer the company of women! A detailed itinerary will be discussed and agreed upon, but I foresee the trip lasting 2 or 3 months, starting perhaps in late April 2008.” Now that’s what I call a trail wedding.
Jenny is in the same age group, but what does that say about women? their photos suggest they are younger than the group they are placed in? Aren’t they old photos? I think it’s pretty absurd to even think like that.
Jenny says: “I work full time and have to book holidays in advance. I’ve just started an Open University course in Social Sciences. I’m curious about the world and the people who live in it. I’m a people person who enjoys a good conversation/discussion.
“I like walking and hiking. I am interested in decorating. I also enjoy meeting new people. Eating out, but I would like to try unknown foods. I would like to ride a bike. I would also like to try horse riding. I did not have the opportunity to see many cultural things. I hope to change this and expand my knowledge in different cultures; hence the interest in traveling to different destinations.”
EVERYONE LIKES A TAN?
The British musician describes himself as: “Short skinny long haired old hippie type prefers an all over tan. (tread carefully ladies). Lazy, likes to read, dance, sing, spiritually aware. Good listener. Photography, Music, Reading, Travel , Sailing, Horseback riding DIY .”
It certainly has a few pluses and minuses, so episodes 50 to 61 this poster might be just what a bored lady is looking for. A string guitar rather than a string vest, because he wants a tan all over.
One of the many interesting things about these lovely traveler types (there are 1,411 on the list) is their sheer thirst for adventure. If a people’s name ends in stan or ia, they have either been there or want to go there.
Wherever your weary feet carry you; perhaps trekking across the Gobi Desert, trying to gather your wits as an Uzbekistani shepherd offers you an attractive companion, or sitting precariously in a camel’s helmet on the long winding road to Ayers Rock, if you see someone coming the other way, Scream ; “Hi. I didn’t see your profile on the retired backpackers.com?”
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