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10 Proven Actions to Overcome Self-Doubt and Achieve Success
“Believe it and you will achieve it”. We have all heard it, seen it in others, but why is it so hard for us to believe in ourselves.
I remember the scene from the movie “Pretty Woman” when Julia Roberts replies to Richard Gere “Bad things are easier to believe. Have you ever noticed that?” His response resonated with me and I am still trying to find my own worth to this day.
Why is this true and more importantly, what can we do about it?
In her fascinating TED TALK, “Stuck in the Negatives,” Alison Ledgerwood presents the results of a series of experiments that prove what we already instinctively knew. It is easier to believe in negative things.
That’s not the end of the story. He goes on to explain that thinking more positively takes work and it is possible to train yourself to be more positive and build self-esteem.
Here are my top 10 proven actions that have helped me through bad times into more positive and productive periods of my life.
1. Every time you have a bad day. Ask yourself “What was good about today?” You always get out of life what you focus on the most. If your focus is negative, you will only get more of what you don’t want, but if you break the pattern with one question and try to focus on what you do want, you are more likely to achieve it.
2. Set small achievable goals for yourself, but make sure you fill them out! Inch by inch you begin to feel more capable with each achievement.
3. Aim to improve every aspect of your life by just one percent. Think about it. A 1% improvement in every area of your life, every day, will increase your motivation, momentum and achievements, which will automatically help you believe in yourself.
4. Take time off. When you get caught. STOP! Break the routine! To take a dog out! Go dance! Out with friends! Sailing. What you like most relaxes you and puts a smile on your face. For me, it’s about saddling horses and getting on the trail! I learned a valuable lesson from a wonderful boss I had many years ago. He used to laugh at me when I would stubbornly stay up all night trying to solve a problem at work. He always told me to stop, go home and get a good night’s sleep. Inevitably, the next morning I found the solution within 5 minutes of starting work. Solving the problem quickly will give you more confidence and will definitely win the struggle when you are tired and telling yourself what a “waste of space” you are.
5. Eat that frog! Mark Twain once wrote, “Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.” Brian Tracey used the quote as the title of his book to combat procrastination. The idea is that when you look at your to-do list, what is the one task you want to do the least. Do that first and get it out of the way, you’ll feel more refreshed and relaxed afterwards. Your productivity will skyrocket for the rest of the day, as will your self-esteem.
6. Say to yourself “HILE!” In his highly entertaining motivational talks, Les Brown hilariously explains that you would never treat others the way we treat ourselves. When that little voice starts nagging you about how useless you are. Tell it to shut up! What happens around you does not stop you from achieving your goals. They are just obstacles that you can go over, under or around. It is our self-destructive inner voice that plays with our emotions that holds us back. Give yourself a break.
7. Help other people. There are very few things in life that give you such an immediate boost of self-worth as helping someone else. I enjoy helping others especially when I’m depressed, it’s an instant turn on the slippery slope of depression.
8. Identify your skills. List all the skills you excel at. Can’t think of anything. Ask your friends and family. What is it about you that everyone likes and admires? If your life is just an endless list of mistakes, maybe your value is like life’s crash pad. Half the battle in life is avoiding the pitfalls, and if you can help others in that regard, your contribution will be invaluable.
9. Face your fears. My favorite quote on this topic is from Oprah Winfrey “The thing you fear the most has no power. Your fear of it has power. Facing the truth really sets you free” In my opinion and from personal experience, facing your fear head on only makes you stronger. Last year was the hardest year of my life. My beautiful 4 yr. old boy was diagnosed with a rare and very aggressive form of leukemia. BUT despite the pain, the despair, the fears of losing him and the loneliness of being separated from my other son and my family. I got up every morning to go sit by his bed from dawn to midnight. It was hard, very hard, but he is now on the road to recovery and we have both come out of the experience so much stronger and less scared than before. Don’t let fear hold you back. You have so much to give the world.
10. Do something you believe in. A sense of purpose is one of the most powerful ways to feel fulfilled. When you know why you are doing something. Enthusiasm and motivation just flow effortlessly.
The most important message I want you to learn is to keep moving forward. “When you rest, you rust” No matter what happens to you in life, don’t give up. Let go of the past, stop fighting it. It’s like hitting your head against a brick wall, only you get hurt. Learn from your mistakes and move on. Forgive those who have hurt you. Maybe you should thank them for making you more aware and stronger.
Get out of the “Pity Potty”. Dust off your dreams and start living your life. Don’t let anything or anyone stop you. It won’t be easy; if it was easy everyone would do it. Success is even sweeter when you have worked hard and overcome all obstacles.
It took the horror of my son’s Leukemia to get me out of my “I’m not worthy” mindset. Since then, I have started a new online business that gives me precious time to spend with my children and animals, the financial freedom to buy a new home, and to help others achieve their dreams.
What is your dream?
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