How To Stop Night Time Feeding For 1 Year Old 3 Easy Ways to Change Your Child’s Behavior

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3 Easy Ways to Change Your Child’s Behavior

If your child is not behaving the way you want, you need to change the way you deal with problems. It simply doesn’t help to keep using the same parenting techniques. If they haven’t acted yet, they won’t. Here are three easy things you can do to make your child want to do what you ask.

1. Negotiate

The idea of ​​negotiating with their children is one that many parents simply cannot fathom. In our parenting classes, we are often met with firm refusal at first. “I’m the parent. I don’t negotiate. My kids have to follow my rules.”

By negotiating, you show your child that you are open to his point of view. It shows that you respect them and care about their feelings. It opens many new lines of communication between parents and children. And if handled correctly, both parties will walk away satisfied.

Your child will appreciate you more if you are willing to listen to how he feels. By negotiating with your child, they know that their feelings are validated and that you care about their feelings. They don’t have to win every negotiation – and neither do you.

When negotiating, remember that once you put your child down for the first time, the negotiation is over. Your child is not interested in continuing a conversation where you make them feel bad.

A woman in our parenting class was trying to negotiate with her 12-year-old daughter about a new dress for her first dance. The daughter had a full-length dress. Mom wanted her to choose a dress that ends mid-calf. During the negotiations, Mom said, “You know how clumsy you are. You’ll trip over the hem and fall flat on your face in front of all your friends. They’ll get a real kick out of it.” The daughter was used to the downs. He had heard them all his life. She quietly chose a mid-calf dress just to end the topic.

In our next parenting class, the mother told me that her daughter was not a very good negotiator. The mother had tried to negotiate, but the daughter had refused. Although they ended up buying the dress that the mother wanted, the daughter was not happy with the decision.

Downgrading is not part of any negotiations – or any discussion. If you find yourself counting your child. Stop. Apologize. Really apologize. And forward.

Some of the topics you may want to start negotiations on may include:

bedtime

whether to take the garbage out at night or in the morning

Friday night TV

curfew

Using negotiation not only shows your child that you respect them, but it teaches them reasoning skills that will help them throughout life.

2. Good choices / bad choices

All success and failure arise from our choices. The ability to think about our choices allows our children to make better choices more often – and to accept the negative consequences of bad choices. Once they realize that the bad thing happened because of a choice they made, they can move on to making a better choice to fix the problem or avoid it altogether next time. If they are not taught consequences, they will not learn to make good choices.

We had one parent in our parenting class who complained that the school had been barking at his son. He failed English because he had forgotten to return several mandatory papers. He had been to the school several times to talk to the teacher, but the teacher did not back down. He asked how to help his son.

I told him, “Let him fail.”

Good parents protect their children from serious harm. Good parents also don’t “overprotect” so that their children learn consequences. All children make bad choices growing up. When they have to deal with the consequences, they learn what choices they made to get into the mess and also learn to consider their choices. Your child will learn much faster by dealing with his choices than from all the preemptive preaching you could give him. Let them fail.

When they fail, don’t say “I told you so”. Don’t admire. Don’t tell them they’re on their own. Let them know you are there for them. Help them get back on track. Talk to them about it. Carefully point out that the consequence is a direct result of the choice they made. Help them learn to make good choices, but don’t trivialize bad choices.

Your goal as a parent is to teach your child that life is better when he makes good choices. Making good choices is not always easy – but it always makes life better.

Some choices your child can start learning today:

Don’t finish your homework… you’ll fail the class

Don’t pick up your toys… the dog might destroy them (or throw them away)

Take your hands off the handlebars of your bike…you might fall off

Learn to offer your advice and then back off and let the consequences teach your child. You can help your child make the right choice, but let them make the choice and deal with the good or bad outcome. Praise him when he makes a good choice – but never belittle him for a bad choice.

3. No review

Constant negative comments eat away at your child’s self-esteem. It never helps the child’s behavior. In fact, it often makes it worse.

Some parents feel that they need to point out every time their child misbehaves so that they can teach the child what he is doing wrong. They end up with a child who is nervous and afraid to do anything to let their parents down yet again. Or worse, they end up with a child who acts out even more.

Instead of yelling, start looking for something they did right and point it out.

Instead of “I told you to clean your room. Go in and do it now!”

Try this: “Thanks for fetching the toys from the living room. I like it when it looks good.”

Instead of “Did you brush your teeth like I told you to? I’m tired of reminding you.”

Try this: “I’m proud that you got into your pajamas yourself.”

In these two examples, we are ignoring the things we really want done. But we build the foundation of our child’s confidence and self-esteem. It won’t take long for our child to start looking for new ways to earn praise. When they get a taste of what praise feels like, they start doing things to get more praise.

Three easy things you can do to change your child’s behavior. Easy for parents. Lovely for children. Try it today.

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