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How to Survive a Dominant Wife Using These 3 Proven Ways
An old joke tells how a married couple goes to Hawaii for their honeymoon. In their room, the husband takes off his pants and says “get into those pants.” The wife looks at her husband and says “Honey, they’re too big.” “That’s right,” the man says, “now you know who wears the pants in this family.” The wife then takes off her pants and says to the man, “Put on these pants.” The man replies “babe, these are too small; I can’t fit in your pants.” The wife then says “that’s right and if you keep this attitude you never will.” Does this sound like your situation? Maybe you have a real domineering wife who constantly disrespects you, maybe even in front of your friends. Does he hit you or slap you in the face? Has he done it in front of your friends? Our wives agreed to become one with us, support us and build us up in sickness and in health, right? How does it build a family when a woman morally destroys her husband? If you feel you may be having trouble in this area of your marriage, read on.
You may have heard this before “a woman needs love as much as a man needs respect.” This is actually a true statement. It is more important for a man to be appreciated than to be loved. However, now in our society, in the face of equal rights, many men have forgotten what it means to be a man, and many women have forgotten how to treat their men. Your wife may seek your attention and find a negative channel to get that attention; he may be jealous of your success and regrets having to stay home with the kids while you get to “get away” for 8 hours; maybe his self-esteem is so low that he destroys you to build himself up; or another very common reason is that he starts caring only about himself.
There are several studies that show that the satisfaction or success a man achieves, both financially and in the family, is directly related to his wife’s support; and respect is the crux of the problem. Humans are built to require emotional support systems. We’ve all heard about Hitler’s horrific experiments where they ignored certain babies…only basic feedings and nappy changes, but no love, no kisses or hugs, not even spoken to. These babies had all died within 6 months for no real reason other than a lack of love in their lives. Men also need this support channel or they can quickly lose focus on the task at hand or prioritize incorrectly. A man with a supportive wife can accomplish ten times more than he ever could alone. However, a man with a morally destructive wife achieves ten times less than if he were alone. If you are one of those with a controlling wife, think about your work performance, when was the last time you had a successful idea or got a promotion? Are you close to your children? Do your kids even love you? What about him? These are all symptoms of a rotten destroyer of the family.
Now let me make this clear, some men take this too far and demand respect in inappropriate ways. If your girl is like the one in that joke, you are in a decent relationship and this article is not for you. However, there are women who cross the line and really dominate the family to such an extent that that house and family becomes a nightmare for everyone involved. So how do you fix this? The first very difficult step is to get him to stop doing things that disrespect you the most; like if he punches you in the face. You need to prepare for this. Get a gym membership now. If your wife’s finances are blocked, borrow a colleague’s card. You need to limit yourself to about 20 minutes jogging and pumping iron, and another 10 minutes to shower and get back into work clothes. Use the money he gives you for snacks at work on the public washer and dryer. This will begin to rebuild your confidence; However, if you can find a way to keep $50 a month, you can join a karate gym and build your confidence even faster. To ask him to stop those things, you need a lot of the confidence he destroyed so effectively years ago. You may also need physical strength to stop him from hitting you, or worst case scenario, you’ll actually need the karate you learn to defend yourself from him. The first step now is to get him to stop and realize that you are no longer going to put up with a certain behavior that bothers you. You have to learn to find ways to tell him when certain things he doesn’t make you feel disrespected, and you have to do it in a way that makes him notice. One of my favorite ways is this joke. The wife made her husband a breakfast of fried eggs. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen. “Careful,” she said, “CAUTION! Put more butter! You’ll cook too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. WHERE can we get MORE BUTTER? I’m going to LOVE! Careful. CAREFUL! I told you to be careful! NEVER listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Turn them! Be quick! Don’t forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them . Use salt. USE SALT! SALT!” The wife stared at him. “What the hell is wrong with you? You think I can’t fry a couple of eggs?” The husband calmly replied, “I just wanted to show you how it feels to drive.”
Although going this far will likely lead to an argument, this wife could clearly see that her husband was very annoyed by his disrespectful behavior in the car. You have to become one. Not an ass, but a human being with a backbone who can disagree with his wife about things and most importantly make the final decision in that situation. I suggest you spend three to six months in the gym (depending on how much confidence you need) before telling him to stop his disrespectful behavior.
Step two is taking responsibility and making positive decisions for the family. Learn about things you don’t want to learn, like finding the best quality car for your budget and buy it no matter what he says. In a healthy relationship, you usually want both of you to agree on the car, so let him know a few times in advance that you think this car is the best for the family. Now make sure you buy that car (he can choose the colors if you have that option.) Studies show that while women overstep their boundaries with their men, a man must have boundaries that cannot be crossed where a man stands. unwavering and say this is what our family does. If a man doesn’t have this line, a woman can never really respect him, even if she really wants to. A man must be responsible, but a man must also understand that being responsible does not mean that you delegate all the work to your wife and yourself without doing anything, or at the other extreme, do all the work yourself and take her nowhere. It’s best to involve the wife in the family finances, help you prioritize the budget, but I repeat, you have to make the final decisions in all of these areas, no matter how much whining or fussing she puts up with. No, he can’t go out with his girlfriends if you have $50 left over for gas and food for the whole week. As nice as that shirt looks on her, she has to budget it before she buys it. There are many other examples that you probably already have in mind.
Third, you need to find the right social group. Yes, that means your friends have to change. If it is acceptable in your social group for your wife to spank you or there is no one who has the balls to stand up to your wife and tell her that her behavior is wrong, then your “friends” do not deserve that title, acquaintance is more appropriate. This doesn’t mean your friends do all the work for you, no, you still MUST follow steps 1 and 2 above. However, when you are with your friends, they need to speak up when your wife is face-slapping or otherwise disrespectful. Your wife must be ashamed of her behavior in a social setting. If you have the confidence and backbone to handle a fight later, it’s very good to be in your social group with other women. Not so social as to be offensive, but enough to trigger the jealousy button in your wife. This will automatically create an atmosphere where your wife will worry about losing you and thus become more protective and caring towards you. In this case, it’s important to remember that when the fight happens (and it’s very likely that it will, especially the third or fourth time he notices this new behavior from you), you never, ever, ever tell him why you are so social with others with women. Doing so will backfire and send the whole process back to the beginning or worse.
This is a process that can take months, even years, to complete, but you now have the necessary steps to turn your terrible situation into one that can bring you true fulfillment, true love, and true success. Your home can now be a place you long to go to, instead of dreading. Today is the day to do this. Don’t delay any longer. Find that co-worker who has a gym pass right now. Remember, we were created to enjoy and love our lives, not to hate it or barely get by.
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