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Your Brain Is a Red Liar

Our brains are hard-wired to respond to red. Evolutionary psychologists explain this by saying that in the time before writing, when our brains evolved, if you saw this color, something happened that was worthy of your attention. It might be leaking blood, something wants to eat it with its mouth open, it was delicious meat that color, your loincloth could burn, brightly colored berries could kill you, etc. It became a sign to live longer, stronger and healthier lives. We trusted it to tell us what we needed to know, and over time we came to depend on it. Because the reptilian brain learned these things, we still focus on color today.

After black and white, this is by far the most sought-after ink color by our customers. It’s so common it’s a cliché. For fun, get a graphic designer to make something redder and bigger, sit back and watch them regret ever being born.

Consider, for example, the most popular brands in America. Most people use it in packaging, advertisements and commercials. It’s an easy way for companies to flip a switch they know is in your brain to get you to pay attention to their product as if your life depended on it, like when we lived in caves and ate anything that moved. which is probably a better nutritional choice leading to seeing red today.

When your brain sees something close to this color, it reacts like that dog in the Beggin’ strips commercial. “It’s red? It’s! It’s red!” It is not. Your brain wants the fix and will lie to you to get it. For example:

• Red onion: Not red onion. This color is called purple.

• Red-haired: Their hair is orange or brown. His brain thinks nursery rhymes are fun.

• Red foxes/pandas/squirrels/kangaroos/lemurs: again orange or brown.

• Red Rooster: Brown Rooster saddens the brain – no alliteration.

• Red robin: See above.

• Red wolf: gray. Just like the gray wolf, you might say.

• Red clover/redbud tree: purple flowers. Tell me. Purple.

• Red fescue: The grass is green. Five year olds know this.

• Rednecks: Tan is pink.

• Redeye Sauce: Disgusting and brown.

• Red clay (Georgia): dirt. The dirt is brown. There can be an argument for orange, but not for red.

• Red Indian: Your brain is racist.

Nancy Spungen said it best: “Never trust a junkie.” Especially not someone with reverse red-green color blindness.

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