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The Parable of the Penny

For the past several weeks, maybe even months, I have been thinking about my life. I’m a year older now. I’m moving into the later years of my life.

I got married for the first time when I was 18, two weeks after my 18th birthday actually. Four years after we were married, my husband joined the Marine Corps and we moved to Southern California. I gave my heart to Jesus Christ and my life has literally never been the same. I am so thankful for that day. I’m sure I’d be dead or in a straight jacket right now if I hadn’t accepted Him as my personal savior.

The day I gave my life to the Lord, I asked for two things. One was to have a baby or take the urge away. Nine months later I was pregnant. We only had one child. Our second one went to heaven when I was eight weeks pregnant.

My husband and I were married for 18 ½ years and after that we just couldn’t take it anymore. We were young when we got married and had nothing in common. After the divorce, I really wanted to get married again. However, I wanted God’s will more than my own will, so it was one day just under 10 years after my divorce that I met my husband Peter.

I have known since the early years of my salvation that I am called to teach, preach and share the gospel message. I knew that I was called to full-time ministry and that I had at least three books on my heart to write.

But over the years I’ve tried to do what I felt the Lord told me to do and it just didn’t seem to happen. You see I’m a perfectionist and if it’s not perfect in my mind I don’t want to do it. I’m not sure if that’s been the only problem over the years. I was married to a man who was not a Christian and wanted nothing to do with me or my church. Then I was single and really struggling financially. Then I married my second husband and our finances weren’t much better.

I’ve always had to work a full-time job and when I get off work, I’m really mentally exhausted.

Are they excuses not to do what God called me to do? Absolutely not. The problem I wrestled with is this. Was God calling me and I missed it all these years? I have been a Christian for a very long time. I’ve been in the church all those years – I even graduated from Bible school with a two-year degree.

What is my problem? Back to what I said at the beginning – I’m going into the winter season of my life. God where did I miss that? What have I done wrong over the years, or have I done?

This verse Matthew 20:1-16 keeps coming back to me. If you don’t know the parable of the penny, I’ll write it for you. A man owned a vineyard and went to a place where people stood hoping to get a job. He hires a bunch for pennies a day. Then he comes back at noon and hires more, at a penny a day. Then, really late in the day, he hires the last bunch of them once again for a penny a day.

People who have worked all day think, well, we must get more than a penny because we’ve worked harder and longer than anyone else. But no, they get their penny too.

The vineyard owner basically tells them and says you agreed to a penny – you got a penny. It’s none of your business what I pay others.

What does this mean for me? Simply said. This is probably the last third of my life. That is if I live to be 90. I have done many things in my 40 year walk with the Lord. I taught children’s ministry/Sunday school for 12 years. I have written many Sunday school curricula. I wrote a book about my life story; I’m working on another book. I have been working to obey God in my own spiritual life. But my problem is this – is it good enough?

Is it good enough to be in your winter season and pursue your dream of being a full-time successful self-employed writer, author and international seminar speaker? Is it too late for me? Why didn’t it happen sooner?

Maybe some of you are where I am. I can’t take back the lost years. All I can do is repent if there is something to regret and move on with God. It may be late, but I will receive the same heavenly reward as someone who has been in full-time ministry for the entire 40 years of their salvation.

Why can’t I believe it?

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