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Teachers Disciplining Children in School – Is Their Reaction Positive Or Negative?
Teachers often say they worry that discipline will lead to children disliking and fearing them. In fact, quite the opposite – children do not react negatively to discipline. How so? A recent example demonstrates the admirable fact…
I met a group of small children in the city. If you were less charitable, you might have described them as a gang, but they weren’t threatening or intimidating, so “gang” is an appropriate description. The sun was shining brightly, so it was hard to recognize them.
As they got closer, one of them screamed and ran towards me… Problems in the warehouse? No, not at all! It was a happy 11-year-old boy wrapping his arms around an adult he knew and liked very much. “Mrs. Marsden, I haven’t seen you in ages”… It was Jack, a former pupil…
He proudly said that he is doing great at school and how he is looking forward to moving on to middle school later this year. Well, except that you have to wear a blouse and a tie! Jack explained how many friends he has – another thing that brings him great joy. The group he was with was obviously happy to have him around.
How do I know Jack?
Jack was a disaster a few years ago and had been expelled from Infant School for being violent, confrontational and disruptive. The teachers couldn’t do anything with him. He was only 6 years old, and he was a virtual outcast at school. The teachers were in despair – no matter what they did, there was no effect on his appalling behaviour.
In came the “Uncle Tom Cobley and All” brigade, and after they had finished their numerous meetings and their behavior management advice had failed, Jack pointed the other way… The Behavioral Unit…
Jack’s first day was a problem for him… When asked where his textbook was, his answer would have been anatomically impossible! The reaction to his response told him very clearly that such language was not allowed and if he wanted to get along well, he better change his language and behavior pretty quickly! It was pretty clear that no one had ever encountered his behavior before. He got a very clear message that he had better improve his attitude.
But after discussing the issue with Jack, he soon found it was resolved. All along he was doing the right thing, he had received a lot of encouragement and reassurance. Follow very simple rules and life will be good.
Jack couldn’t read very well and when you gave him math work he was literally shaking with fear – I’ve never seen a child react so negatively. He had deep-seated fears that needed to be recognized and addressed. Adults should have unlimited understanding when a child has educational difficulties, but bad behavior must not be tolerated. Adults must refuse to make excuses for bad behavior and stop it in its tracks before it has a chance to take over at school – or anywhere else!
There is no magic in controlling children’s behavior. It’s all about following the right behavior management strategies, at the right time and in the right way. So is Jack a stupid kid? Absolutely not — but he was severely undereducated and so typical of so many children with severe behavioral problems. He couldn’t do basic homework, was frustrated, and fell behind in his learning every day he was at school.
Jack now found himself in classes where no appalling behavior was tolerated – a euphemism for strict? But she also realized that adults were willing to work with her to alleviate her many fears about learning. He was expected to work hard and independently, but soon he began to see good results.
What was Jack’s response to this new experience? He flourished and began to enjoy learning. This was not transferred to his mainstream school at first, as it could only happen when mainstream adults learned to manage behavior effectively. The adults there had to learn to control and manage his behavior – something they hadn’t done before.
So Jack’s welcoming of the “strict teacher” to today’s meeting was a perfect example of a child’s long-term reaction to having limits and restrictions placed on his behavior. A completely positive reaction and a child who greets you with open arms – and in front of his friends! What a possible risk to his group standing with his friends!
Children desperately need boundaries and limits to their behavior. The teachers could have prevented so much of Jack’s misery by handling him properly long before his behavior got completely out of hand. In fact, they should have taken action as soon as he started misbehaving.
Any teacher can learn to deal with the Jacks of this world – or better yet, prevent them from becoming what Jack was in the nursery school. That’s what adulthood is. It is the adult’s responsibility to protect children from growing up without the essential discipline that allows them to mature with confidence and the right level of self-confidence. All adults should be able to manage children’s behavior confidently and effectively – it really isn’t difficult.
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