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Is Your Cougar Net Empty? How to Write a Winning Online Profile
One of the problems with making an online connection is getting their attention. There is a lot of competition out there and the Cougars are selective. They know what they want, which also means they know what they don’t want. If older men are no longer inspiring, don’t follow in their footsteps. Cougars are looking for fun, excitement and someone who reflects that in their profile will get responses.
When I read profiles here and on other dating sites, I start to feel like I’m watching repeated scenes from the movie Ground Hog Day; You know…with Bill Murray, where every morning he wakes up is exactly the same as the day before.
Each profile starts to look and sound the same. They all blend into each other. I’m reading. I click next. I’m reading. I click next. If the first line doesn’t have anything that grabs me, I click DELETE and move on to the next one.
Did you read what I just said? IF EACH FIRST LINE HAS NOTHING TO CATCH A WOMAN’S ATTENTION, SHE WILL CLICK OFF.
People are busy. We only have so much time to do so many things each day. If you’re having no luck getting responses from your online profile, take some helpful tips and make a profile change. What do you have to lose? Oh well… another lonely Saturday night…
Here we go:
1) Read a lot of profiles for both men and women.
Notice which ones catch your attention and why. Take notes. Look carefully at the very first line. This is your “signature” line that tells people why they should bother reading the rest of your profile. As you read women’s profiles, you begin to understand what they are looking for and what language they speak.
2) Don’t underestimate yourself.
Don’t say “Well, I’m just me” or “Wow. I never know what to write about these things” or “Ask if you want to know more.” It makes you look shy, lame, and like you have a lot of insecurities. It also makes you look like you don’t know who you are. If you don’t know who you are, why should anyone care? If you’re online, you’re already in a public place. So don’t hide who you are and then wait for someone to “recognize” how special you are through magical telepathy and hit on you for more information.
Instead, write something that relates to a personal strength that you have. “A dashing young man with a penchant for sweeping you off your feet and onto the dance floor, seeks a playful, leading lady to star in a forever relationship.”
Can I get my drift? Glitter! Shine! Excite us! Give us the “wow” factor!
3) Don’t make clichéd statements.
Don’t start your profile with “I am…”. “I’m beautiful, sexy, compassionate, honest, smart…” yeah, yeah… everyone says that. Have you ever read a profile that says, “I’m a loser, drug addict, unemployed bum who sleeps on my mom’s couch?”
Tell us something about you that makes you different from everyone else. “One of my passions is animal rescue, and this summer our group is hosting the Basset Hound Olympics to raise money for veterinary care.” Doesn’t that tell someone how compassionate you are and how much you enjoy doing charity work? Be specific. Actions speak louder than words.
Avoid saying “I like to work hard and play hard” or “I’m just as comfortable in a dress as I am in jeans and a T-shirt”. How many times do you see those statements? “I enjoy fine dining.” (Who doesn’t?) “I’m independent.” (And that means…?) And for God’s sake, aren’t we all sick of “I like long walks on the beach” and that nauseating term “with that special someone”. (Sorry for skeeving.)
4) Be persuasive
Express one’s opinion. Tell your opinion. In this way, you will appear to someone as a defined person and attract people who share your views and interests. “My idea of a great first date is microwave coloring the shapes of famous historical figures and then discussing socialism over a nice glass” is more definitive than “I like to do silly things and discuss the events of the day.”
People want to meet people who know who they are. It shows that you have something to bring to the table and that you can handle the end of a date or relationship.
5) Send a good, clear picture of yourself.
Smile. Don’t post a serious picture because you think it will make you look cool. It makes us wonder, Did you just get out of jail? Do not wear sunglasses. Don’t try to look or act cool. Look friendly, happy, approachable and fun! Don’t flash gang signs or peace signs or flip the bird. Leave your penis in your pants. We’ve seen them before, and they’re not all that and a bag of chips.
Post pictures, especially of you doing fun things that we might enjoy with you. Don’t post a picture of you and your ex. Don’t put a picture with you and half of your identity will be cut out of the picture. Ladies, believe it or not, not all men want to see us with dogs. *sigh* So attach a picture of you and Bonster, but also put other pictures. If a guy isn’t a pet owner or loves his 23 cats, he probably cares about you and fido.
6) Your screen name says a lot about who you are and what you’re looking for.
If your screen name is “Young and Hung” or “Licking My Eyebrows,” we know you’re looking for booty calls and aren’t a serious contender for anything other than a one-night stand, and you’re probably expecting us to drive over and get pizza. on the way over. We also know you probably have a different girl every night, a few diseases brewing, and an ax in the hall closet. REMOVE.
7) Be sincere and honest about who you are and what you are looking for.
Be honest about your age, weight, height. Don’t post pictures of people over a year old or with brown hair if you’ve just dyed it tomato red. When people see your picture and make an appointment with you, they expect to meet the person in the picture. Everything else is disappointment and disappointment. Don’t post a group photo. We cannot tell who you are and we are not interested in meeting the group. We are interested in meeting you.
Don’t say you’re looking for a long-term relationship if you’re really looking for friends with benefits. One of the reasons I have so many options to choose from in profiles is so people can really connect with people who are looking for the same things. If you’re married, separated, divorced, and a little fragile and just want to test the waters, say so. “I just got out of a long-term situation and I just want to meet new people for fun and conversation and see how it goes before I start thinking about anything serious again.” People appreciate honesty and transparency. It shows that you respect them, and it also shows that you have integrity with yourself.
8) Tell us who you are.
If you want to capture someone’s attention, you need to put something on the hook before casting the line. No fish on earth will bite a clean hook. Few people will respond to a profile with nothing or little. Why should they when the next ad they click on has tons of information for them to read and contact?
Talk about your hobbies and interests and convey your enthusiasm: “I like skydiving” is informative, but “there’s nothing like naked skydiving to get the adrenaline flowing. There’s just something so exciting about falling 100 miles to Earth for an hour while Grandma follows me with her binoculars , which is spiritually superior,” gives us a really clear picture of your passion for it.
9) Tell us what you do professionally.
Why is this important? Because it helps us visualize you at work doing what you do during the day, and it helps us connect with that image and you. It further defines who you are and helps us determine whether we want to contact you. If you’re a butcher and the woman reading your profile is a member of PETA and a staunch vegetarian, why waste time emailing and chatting and then meeting if she knows in her heart that this will never work?
You can say, “I’m a student,” or you can say, “I’m in my third year of college studying marine biology. You haven’t seen anything in life until you’ve seen two starfish mate. It’s the most life-affirming thing on Earth. When I finish school, my goal is to start a catfish farm in a small southern Delta to the city and take the catfish to Dubai.”
Wow. I am so there…
10) Be open. Please. Be approachable. Be funny.
Be someone that someone else would like to get to know better. And express who you are by writing. The profiles are written. Not everyone is a good writer, but this is the medium in which you sell yourself. It is a visual medium. If you don’t write well, but you know how to express yourself by speaking, upload a 60-second video about yourself, telling everyone who you are and what you’re looking for. Keep the video short. The famous Canadian award-winning film director Mack Sennet said that 90 seconds is never too long. The audience loses interest.
Be respectful. Think about what you write before you write. “I like women with big asses” is in no way flattering to any woman, even if she has a big ass. Don’t be rude. Raw is rough. Gross skeeves women.
A well thought out and prepared profile with good pictures will get you noticed. If it’s obvious you haven’t spent time on your profile, whoever sees it will assume you’re just a gamer and don’t want to meet anyone seriously, and click away. If you don’t take the time to fill out your profile, why should anyone take the time to respond? No one wants to reply to a blank or a profile that says “I’ll tell you later.” It’s like saying, “I have a secret and if I think you’re worthy enough, I’ll share it with you.” (Skeeve again.) NEXT.
Write complete sentences. If your language skills are not so good, ask someone to help you express yourself in writing. If you can’t communicate who you are and what you’re looking for, no one will be interested.
You have to remember that many dating sites have millions of profiles. You are competing with all the other online profiles. You have to see yourself as a product and run an ad campaign to get results. If you had to make a commercial for yourself and you had to produce 60 seconds, what would you say? What would be your top line? You need an attention-grabbing beginning, a well-thought-out, informative and exciting middle, and a “close” end.
The goal is to get answers. Once you get the answers, you can decide who you want to continue communicating with.
The bottom line is: If you’re not getting responses online, it’s because your profile is screwed up. Even a profile without a picture will get a response if it is well written and compels someone to want to know more. Your profile is your business card. It’s your ad. It is your introduction to the online community. If it says nothing, offers nothing, it gets nothing. And nothing is exactly what you might expect.
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